I live with a person that I know longer know. I am not sure how to get out of this marriage. We have intertwined finances and a young child.
When will enough be enough, we are literally roommates that don’t get along. I have zero attraction to him, I cringe at the thought of him touching me at all. He is so mean to me, has said some of the most abusive nasty things to me for a few years now, he apologies and keeps on haveing these outbursts. He has destroyed my love for him.
How did I not see who he was in the beginning? I never would have imagined he would test me this way. I see now we are totally opposite. He makes ignorant close minded prejudice comments about anyone or anything that is different from him. He is rude and has zero common sense… I have just seen enough.
I have been honest with him, I have said I want to separate, and he will cry and plead saying he will treat me the way I deserve… blah blah blah it never changes…. he bitches at me everyday… about anything and everything. I take to long washing my face, I don’t get the toddler to bed early enough, I go shopping to long , shower to long…. I don’t leave his lighter in the same damn spot… I mean it’s everything! He then can still say with a straight face that he is being nice and has changed…. I think he needs to ask for money back from the pricey anger management therapist he has been going to because that shit is not a workin.
A bigger last verbal attack was a week ago, he played hookie from work…. I found this out because our phones are linked and could see he was at my family lake house….. I asked him what was going on. Knowing that so he went there to lay down and nap! Yes nap! He does these things, calls into work this is another story… so he doesn’t respond (because he thinking up a lie), and comes up with,” I was decorating and brought a gift up here for our anniversary”. First, we don’t get along and going to the lake house with him sounds like hell. We had not talked about this or made plans for the child or to go at all! For all we knew my family was using it. When he knew I wasn’t believing his BS yet again, he went the F off on me!
I am just so sick of living with a unstable abusive person. The Ups and Downs…. he can tear into me saying the most insulting things I have ever heard and a hour later some up and try to kiss in me and when I don’t return the gesture he then lashes out again and stomps off!
Such a abusive person omg. I look back through a App Journal I have and it’s like every few days I am typing in what he has done or said and it’s been going on years now! . And the thing is, I really haven’t done anything for him to even be mildly upset about! I work hard at my fulltime job, make money, care for the child the house the bills… I don’t go out to bars or drink or run with the girls for nights out…. he doesn’t appreciate anything in me or what he has.
It’s just a matter of time before his job is feed up. I will have to post about his Kratom addiction and how he literally took 2 months off from LIFE! He has made my life much harder rather than easier that’s for sure.
I have put all sorts of walls up with him, I have been self medicating more than ever lately and this sounds like a cop – out excuse but honestly I feel I need to be altered in my thinking to stand to be around him! I know I would not be dabbling this much if I was happy or if I was just not around him having to be bitched and and verbally abused and told how disgusting I am. I will get into that issue later…. I just need to come up with a plan and stick to it, I am going to be 40 this year, and I feel I would be so much happier and healthier with no one rather than with him.